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International-conference-of-athletics-excellence
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User since:
Oct 4th, 2018
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Hillrunner said 1 week ago

Clarification on Grooming-Re: Globe and Mail

I have some recent "grooming" concerns. But I want to get it right-I I fully understand that the livelihood and passion for the sport of a coach is very serious. As a female, I just want to know what are realistic boundaries. Thoughts on a university coach who develops "favorites" and "special relationships" and does favors for one or a very select few. When does this all cross the line into a more dangerous territory? Very glad this is all coming to light. Some coaches could be harmless but unwittingly be potentially sabotaging their own careers. Athletics Canada may want to provide mandatory training for all coaches to "review" policies that protect BOTH the coaches and athletes.

This post was edited by Hillrunner 1 week ago . 
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  • anonymous Anonymous
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    Toxic said 1 week ago

    This has already become a toxic and inappropriate relationship. Ask yourself: what would be the ethical and appropriate reason for a coach to develop the relationships you describe in your post? At some level, you already know that this is wrong. Your challenge is to find someone In your university setting who has the honesty and integrity to listen to your concerns and act appropriately on your (and the others) behalf.

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  • cowardnessthyname User since:
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    Cowardnessthyname said 1 week ago

    Is this a serious question? This seems like a man (posing as a woman) asking a question that on the surface is supposed to seem innocent but is instead questioning the whole concept of grooming.

    Google it:

    "Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them." https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/

    There are no harmless "groomers", because all people who groom are doing so with the intentions above. DST groomed Megan Brown with the goal of exploiting her running dreams for his own gain: sex.

    In terms of special relationships or favours for one individual. Why? Why would you do favours for an athlete, beyond your official coaching capacity, without providing the option of such "favours" to everyone you are coaching? Most importantly, what is the motive behind such favours?

    Athletics Canada should probably worry about reviewing the conduct of their own staff before trying to develop training for anybody else.

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  • hillrunner User since:
    Oct 4th, 2018
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    Hillrunner said 1 week ago

    Quoting: Cowardnessthyname
    "Is this a serious question? This seems like a man (posing as a woman) asking a question that on the surface is supposed to seem innocent but is instead questioning the whole concept of grooming.

    Google it:

    "Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them." https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/

    There are no harmless "groomers", because all people who groom are doing so with the intentions above. DST groomed Megan Brown with the goal of exploiting her running dreams for his own gain: sex.

    In terms of special relationships or favours for one individual. Why? Why would you do favours for an athlete, beyond your official coaching capacity, without providing the option of such "favours" to everyone you are coaching? Most importantly, what is the motive behind such favours?

    Athletics Canada should probably worry about reviewing the conduct of their own staff before trying to develop training for anybody else."

    As a student and young person it is hard to know if the favortism/favors/special relationship is just a coach pulling off the favortism card or actually trying to go off in a darker direction. Sorry, it is not that simple and an athlete/student has a lot on the line if they are not careful and sure of their allegation.

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  • hillrunner User since:
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    Hillrunner said 1 week ago

    This post was edited by Hillrunner 1 week ago . 
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  • hillrunner User since:
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    Hillrunner said 1 week ago

    Quoting: Toxic
    "This has already become a toxic and inappropriate relationship. Ask yourself: what would be the ethical and appropriate reason for a coach to develop the relationships you describe in your post? At some level, you already know that this is wrong. Your challenge is to find someone In your university setting who has the honesty and integrity to listen to your concerns and act appropriately on your (and the others) behalf."


    Thanks. Hard to come forward. Nothing has really happened to me beyond what I listed and I would never let it. So since I am unlikely to be a victim I would not likely come forward but that is unfortunate for others in the future that may not make the same choices and for that I am in turmoil.

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  • anonymous Anonymous
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    Toxic said 1 week ago

    Quoting: Hillrunner
    "Thanks. Hard to come forward. Nothing has really happened to me beyond what I listed and I would never let it. So since I am unlikely to be a victim I would not likely come forward but that is unfortunate for others in the future that may not make the same choices and for that I am in turmoil."



    Universities have confidential counsel;ling services. Sounds like this might be a safe place to explore your concerns. An objective and professional perspective would be helpful to you.

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  • anonymous Anonymous
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    Anonymous said 1 week ago

    Always try to stick with the rule of 2, always have someone with you that you can also trust. Don't work in a one on one environment. Have a fellow team mate or coach of a separate gender with you when you work with person. If the coach in question has an issue with this, red flag.

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  • new-post-last-visitanonymous Anonymous
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    Anonymous said 1 week ago

    Quoting: Hillrunner
    "Thanks. Hard to come forward. Nothing has really happened to me beyond what I listed and I would never let it. So since I am unlikely to be a victim I would not likely come forward but that is unfortunate for others in the future that may not make the same choices and for that I am in turmoil."


    It might be worth it to bring this to someone elses attention, you may be, as you say, unlikely to be a victim, but maybe if you bring this to light it can prevent someone else from becoming one.

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